You may think all there is to Panera employees are their pastel collared shirts, granny button up pants, and hair pulled back in an awful pony tail, but some of them are more than just their uniquely out of style outfits. Not all of them, in fact mostly only one is a beauty obsessed queen. Hi, nice to meet you (not). Want to survive in Panera? Get a haircut, some lip gloss and lose 3 buttons on your collared shirt.
1. I wasn't kidding about the haircut.
Seriously, you are going to be wearing a hat for literally 8 hours a day. And, since I am assuming you are on the bottom of the totem pole your hat is going to be beige. Beige? Seriously, this color does not go well with anything except your first apartment's walls. So be warned, it will look awful on you. And the ONLY way to even try to pull off wearing a hat every single day of your life is to have a suitable haircut. Keep it short. Or if you have curly/wavy hair you're set and can have any length hair you'd like. It looks adorable poking out of a hat. Style, body, waves. Exactly what you need. Wait....I have curly hair. Why am I even trying to help you? My hair already looks adorable.
2. Do yourself and buy a makeup primer.
If you do not wear makeup or know what a makeup primer is just leave now. Now. You're pathetic. Why a makeup primer? Well, let me tell you. You stand behind a hot as hell toaster ALL day, yes even in the summer. You have to get baked goods out of the oven constantly which the temperature ranges from anywhere between 300degrees to 480. Getting it yet? Your face will melt off! Literally. Makeup primers stop this problem before it even happens. Your face will look flawless and beautiful all day. (Not as good as mine though)
3. Lipstick and Nail Lacquer.
As odd as it sounds these two categories are for those lady customers in your life. I can't tell you how many times a woman has asked me what color nail polish and or lipstick color I am wearing. And, once you tell them most of the time they become your friend and begin to like you, which is not easy for a lot of the lady customers that come in to Panera, you see they are usually secretaries, or nurses, or even CNA's they obviously are much better than me and my dorky hat. So get women on your side at Panera and you've almost won the game.
4. Lace Undershirts, Lip GLOSS, and Blush.
Want to guess which gender we're going to discuss now? Lace Undershirts. Must I say more? I don't think so. They're appropriate, cute, and firemen love them.
Lip Gloss. Now, I know we already went over lipstick, but you must understand they're in two completely different leagues. Lipstick adds color and brightens your face. Lip gloss is sexy and almost irresistible. Something about shiny lips always makes men smile at you a little longer. Men love to stare. And, let them stare at my lace undershirt and glossed lips, because maybe this one will fill out his survey at the bottom of his receipt. Tactics my drones, tactics.
Blush. Blush is for old guys. You don't have to pretend to be amused by his dumb jokes and snide comments about your lace undershirt because you have your secret weapon. Blush. Blush makes you look like your always blushing (duh) which means you always look amused and cute when this old man is talking to you. It always adds another layer of adorableness as well when the cute firemen says you look very nice today.
This lesson is over. You can either follow it or be ugly for the rest of your life. - Azula
Disclaimer: I do not speak for the Panera company as a whole, but am merely one of the gorgeous faces you will see and fall in love with at our bakery.
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